Perhaps the illusion of self-perfection is one of the most common illusions that every achiever has. The common standard that one sets for themselves is to be perfect while making no mistakes or failures.
This rejection of failure will soon grow into a fear of failure. When fear has its own grip on one’s mind, it is easier to fall into its trap and create a denial form that breeds illusion.
The fear of failure married the aim to be perfect, and both produced the illusion of perfection. When one sees oneself as perfect, one may hinder themselves from growth and their own potential. The ability to see our weaknesses has something to do with our motivation for self-growth. When we refuse to see our weaknesses, we may unconsciously neglect our potential. This may lead to another illusion.
The cause
Here are several causes that may contribute to have a self-perfection:
- Expectation
Family, societal, and cultural expectations play a pivotal role in injecting this fear of failure and the ambition to be perfect. We need to be fully aware of these expectations so that we will be able to calm the storm within and cultivate genuine self-acceptance.
- Idealized Image in Social Media
We may agree that social media nowadays likely has became the curated life which unfortunately also became the idealized one. Every curated life may get viewed as ideal life. This standpoint in viewing life leaves no room for failure. What I mean as failure is a raw failure, not a curated failure that soon will be used as tool for shaping the idealized image.
A raw failure became alienated from our everyday life. It seems like we only allow for all of those curated failures, not the raw, heartbreaking, and messed-up failures. The kinds of failure that bring us to our rock bottom are not the ones that are shown, not until we are able to curate them.
- Comparison
Based on those idealized images, most people nowadays are in constant battle with themselves by comparing and contrasting themselves with the idealized images. Up to the point that life becomes a constant source of anxiety and fear.
Switching the perspective
- A Genuine Self-Acceptance
When we want to have self-growth, we must be able to accept all of our weaknesses, including our failures. Since in those weaknesses and failures lie our potential selves, And it simply means that if we reject them, we close the door to our self-realization, which will lead us to our self-actualization. So viewing our weaknesses, dark sides, rejected parts of ourselves, and failures as our doors to self-actualization will help us cultivate a genuine sense of self-acceptance.
- Realistic Goals
When we are able to accept ourselves and work on our self-actualization, we will soon find out that it is important to set a realistic goal. Realistic goals are ones that align with our potential selves, which we find out through self-reflection and self-realization.
- Enjoying The Process more than the Result
After we set our realistic goals, we need to train ourselves to view the process as something that is as important as the result. In fact, the process also contributes to the result. The road that we take will lead us to the destination that we want. Hence, we need to be aware and present to understand the road and not only set our eyes on the destination.
