Self-Dialogue and its Mileage to One’s Self-Knowledge

Self-dialogue is one of the most common forms of intrapersonal communication, also known as inner monologue and inner dialogue. I chose to use self-dialogue to include those two common forms of intrapersonal communication. To begin with, inner monologue and inner dialogue are two different forms of intrapersonal communication. The first is more of a one-way conversation from one voice, while the latter includes many sources of ‘voice’ and may apply as practice in certain conditions and self-observation.

Types of Self-dialogue

In general, we can categorize self-dialogue based on their functions:

1. Instructional self-dialogue that will help us to achieve certain goal by giving a clear instruction of how we handle our problem through our inner power.
2. Motivational self-dialogue that influence one’s own motivation and to help one’s motivation intact.
3. Evalutional self-dialogue that upkeep our self-reflection instinct.

The world is such and such or so-and-so only because we tell ourselves that that is the way it is….you talk to yourself. You’re not unique at that. Every one of us does that. We carry on our internal talk…. In fact we maintain our world with our internal talk.

Carlos Castaneda

Regulate one’s own emotions

In doing daily activities, one can not escape from their emotional response to the events that happen. And to be aware of and later understand those emotions are crucial for one’s self-knowledge. For that reason, having inner conversation with oneself may heighten one’s awareness to their inner turmoil. Since emotion needs to be felt and so that it can be regulated, self-dialogue can be used to acknowledge the emotion one is enduring at the moment or even past-event.

Awareness of one’s own self-concept

All through our lives, each of us holds our own self-concept that most of us are unaware of. This self-concept molds our own self-perspective and is molded by others’ perceptions of us that we have received without further notice. Therefore, having self-dialogue regularly, one may raise their own awareness of their self-concept and the information beyond it.

The Flavor of Self-dialogue influences One’s own Self-Esteem

There are positive correlations between healthy self-esteem and a variety of other traits that bear directly on our capacity for achievement
and for happiness. Healthy self-esteem correlates with rationality, realism, intuitiveness, creativity, independence,flexibility, ability to manage
change, willingness to admit (and correct) mistakes, benevolence, and cooperativeness. Poor self-esteem correlates with irrationality, blindness
to reality, rigidity, fear of the new and unfamiliar, inappropriate conformity or inappropriate rebelliousness, defensiveness, over compliant or
over controlling behavior, and fear of or hostility toward others. We shall see that there is a logic to these correlations. The implications for survival, adaptiveness, and personal fulfillment are obvious. Self-esteem is life supporting and life enhancing.

Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

The flavor of our self-dialogue, whether it’s positive or negative, influences our self-esteem. Because how we view ourselves shapes our self-esteem. And it’s important to note that healthy self-esteem breeds a healthy self-confidence. Those who appear confident but have a low self-esteem may develop a pseudo-confidence as a survival ‘tool’. Yet, just like every pseudo-thing, it won’t ‘last’ and will be corroded by life’s pressure and problems. Therefore, being aware of the flavor can help us determine the level of our self-esteem and later identify the cause.

To be real, in a psychological sense, means to be integrated—integrated in thought, feeling and bodily behavior. For example, when a person professes to
be cheerful and carefree but we see that his movements are abrupt and jerky, and his voice and speech betray a current of irritability, we do not necessarily
conclude that he is consciously lying, but we say that he is cut off from himself, he is not being authentic, he is not being real, he is cut off from his emotions— he is not integrated. Nathaniel Branden, The Disowned Self

Source: